Dear Future Me

I’m writing to you today to congratulate you on how far you’ve come! It’s amazing everything you have gone through and yet you have maintained so much perseverance. Remember that beautiful classic mansion with cherry blossoms you so wanted. Well its now all yours! I’m so proud of you how you managed to believe that god would be there for you! You knew he was going to come through, why because god lives in you. You knew this way before I did and I can’t find the right words to tell you how much that means! You have changed the way people see this world, the realities being created. I’m so impressed of everything you accomplished. You knew you were going to changed the world and now you have done so. Your children can’t be more proud of you and your husband more amazed with your accomplishments. This world is more beautiful and people are now learning to heal themselves. Something never seen before. They are believing in themselves more than ever and know the power of the words. They know that each and everyone of us is an Artist and we draw our tree and create our own branches. We’re one. Help thy brother, help thy sister. You are eternal and we need to help those who have yet to learn this. They need no suffer anymore. Suffering is a choice, we can choose to be happy and to heal! I’m so happy you decided to take that path and heal! Be a healer of the world! Heal everyone around you! You know the limitless life this can be! You are much greater than this and you have the power to change peoples lives! You changed your own life. From a selfish little girl to a selfless old soul!

When I dream I go far

Have you ever heard the saying Imagination is everything? A very famous quote from Albert Einstein. Could it be that he meant this as a fact and not just as an inspirational quote. I don’t know, but I’m more than eager to find out. I love writing because that voice that keeps interrupting me when I speak disappears. God you know what I’m talking about. You have been always listening to me. I know you have! It means the world to me that you have been taking care of me here. I appreciate it. If you can end pain and suffering for all living beings it would be amazing. I would love an answer to this but sometimes trusting the reasons why you do what you do is the best way to go about it in this life. I know I have many outcomes many paths I can choose from to be happy all I really need from you is to hold me tight and guide me the right direction. Don’t let go of me, I know you won’t. You are my all you are my everything. I know I’m an amazing writer and can captivate many people to read my books. I’ve known that since I was young. I remember my teachers being eager to read my short stories and I eager to write them, They were entertained. And I was simply loving it my lord. I love what I do. It is my passion. Words mean so much to me. They are a way for me to express my feelings and emotions and a way for me to live many life’s. Writing is a way of creation just like you god. I’m a creator and I love writing. Please guide me in the right direction to write captivating stories to touch many people’s hearts. I think all I have to do is just write. Just do it. The rest will come to me in a blink of an eye. I need to follow my passion. Write like there is no tomorrow. It will all makes sense in a few years. Follow your dreams. You know you will be writing books and finding inspiration by the water fountain in your house. You know it in your heart this has been and image in your mind for as long as you can remember. You can do this, Yes you can. I am your number one fan. You will go far in life achieve many accomplishments and inspire many as you go. You know this very well. Life did throw a few pebbles in the way for you to be here at this very moment and realize that! Love I AM 🙂

A little bit about me

Let me tell you a little bit about my background. I was born in El Salvador came here at the age of 6 dreaming of becoming a business woman always walking in stores and thinking to myself that I would one day buy a business suite.
So my life continued and it didn’t turned out as plan. I ended up having an arranged marriage and then mom wanted me to give my husband children at the age of 16 so I gave him 4.
Before I had my kiddos I had a brief part time telemarketing job at 16 so I would wake up go to school, then work and then come back home be a housewife. That telemarketing job would be the key to get me into new american funding.
It gave me experience in the sales industry. After having my children I stayed home for a while. I then decided to get back to work.
I was now 25 and did not know what I wanted to do in life but I knew I wanted to be someone big my dream was still top of mind.
I applied to New American Funding not knowing the grand opportunities this company would bring and the passion of the leaders we call our bosses including my role model Patty Arvielo.
I entered as a telemarketer. Did that for a year got promoted to a Jr. Loan Officer. During this time I never knew what was happening to me internally. I was dealing with something unforseen but definitly expected it.
I had always struggled with anxiety and to my surprise other mental disorders. I always used my anxiety for good.
I always told myself whenever I get anxious I know it will bring the best of me when i feel nervous and butterlies that’s good my body is filled with energy and can make me talk faster, but that year my thoughts shifted.
I struggled mentally and started self medicating and went into a self destructive cycle. I learned alot from that experience. I learned that we’re all one and that I can manifest anything in life no matter if I had Aspergers or not.
I’m 99% sure I’m Aspie. But you know what so was Albert Einstein and this motivated me to try my best in this life and like my role model Patty says ” I’m living my best life” this is my motto from now on
“I’m living my best life” I am successful and I will continue to empower those who feel they can’t succeed to be anything, and let them know “Yes you can do it,You can be anything you want and have anything you want.
This company is my home and gives so many opportunites has so much support from all departments and it all starts with a great role model like our very own Patty Arvielo! She’s amazing! I love her.

You know when I was little I wanted to grow up to be an astronaut before my dreams of a business woman came into play and now I’m working with the stars I feel truly blessed!

Clear Slate

I look at my blank piece of paper on my word press. I glance and I ponder. What should I write about. I have a deep feeling in my heart of becoming someone bigger than I could have ever dreamt off. I know it’s my destiny, my calling. I’m here to experience what it feels like so I can help others who are in that situation or worse. I’m here to heal not only me but the rest of me that makes me whole and that is the rest of you. I have a clear sense of what life is which I can’t really put into words. It’s a bit difficult to understand because for me it’s all in the feeling of oneself. The feeling that comes in and makes things go right. That feeling when you’re about to make a tough decision and you make it because there is no doubt, you just have the right feeling. That’s the feeling I’m talking about. That’s the god in you guiding you to the right path. I’m on a quest to discover my true journey in this world whom I’m a part of and adore. This quest started since I was very young. I looked at others puzzled, we had no mirrors in my country and I’m kinda of glad we didn’t I didn’t have a care in the world if I looked pretty or ugly. I was simply living my present. Feeling the moment. Enjoying the beautiful night sky and it’s twinkling stars; creating more dreams than I could’ve ever imagined. I giggled as the wind blew through my face feeling the cool crisp wind run down through my cheeks. That magical moment would engraved itself in my mind with a thought that I could tap into and can take me back at that exact moment simply by closing my eyes. My heart is satisfy and fulfilled every time I go there. Time does not exist there. Only me god and my present. I am Ruth Rivera.

 

 

One of a Kind

Im feeling it now, this scene in my mind takes me back to a sad place, the ache in my chest

the tears down my face, and there I lay down to rest

I remember my life as it flashes through my eyes. I see the young girl dazed and confused. She did not know why she was different.

They called her rude, angry and clumsy but god knew her time would come to shine

People would finally know the world in her head had just ran wild.
Her imagination shared many secrets the universe kept. You can call it autism but she called it a gift.

Many thought it was a prison. Their minds would soon shift for they knew why they had accepted the challenge before they came to Earth.

I am one of a kind.

Quick message

I have come to a conclusion my fellow aspie friends. I usually have in mind what I want to say but just can’t seem to find the right words to speak them out and it came to a point where it was very difficult for me to even talk or have a conversation with my colleagues eventually I quit 8 jobs in a span of 1 yr. I heard comments such as “ don’t be an oddball “ you’re a dork” and even was called bozo, even through these harsh words I have come to find out that no matter what might be happening in our brains to bring us to this state of mind in this human body, we are still spiritual beings and can slowly gain control of our thoughts with our subconscious mind by learning how to talk to ourselves, meditating is key for me. Pure Consciousness does not care what mental illness or state we are in once we align with it it will bring all abundance and happiness to our life’s! Trust me! Wishing you all pure love and happiness.

Bulimia

Learning to acknowledge and affirm that we’re all a bit weird, is ok . Learning to live in the present will take time. I notice I’m not taking way good care of this body god let me borrow. It’s sad to see how I waste my organs and they slowly weaken due to my on and off again relationship with bulimia. It’s a dreadful and painful scene to watch each trip to the restroom right after binging on a big meal, munchies and gassy drinks. I’m on a quest to help others stop questioning “ what’s wrong with me” and start living in this moment! Plenty of mistakes will be made but we learn from them.

Third eye perspective

When you feel as if your outside the world watching through glass lenses at all the different people acting in a manner as if they are not like you. Acting as if we are different, makes me realize that the human species is functioning at a different mind level or as we call it energy. I like to think of it as an atom mind low level progress system.  There are steps to achieve your full potential as human and you have to climb through that scale by doing a lot of mindful thinking. Self awareness is what we call it! Have you guys ever stopped to think for a sec and ask yourself after an action. “Does this benefit me for good? Or bad? 🙂 well guys we should be doing this pretty much every time! Self progress step by step 🙂

So have you ever wondered “Is it easier to change your behaviors which by the way create your personality, in a complete different setting.” For instance in : New State? New Home? New Country? Did you ever just wonder if I go far far away from this life that I have and start fresh will this anxiety this depression decrease. Well I’m about to put that to the test. Yes that’s right! I’ve been suffering from social anxiety, laziness, and depression for over two years now. In one month I’ll be moving from an apartment to renting a home and I want to see if I can become a more organized person in my new home instead of the typical hoarder self I am. I’m ready guys! I’ll keep you posted!

A piece of imperfection can only make me more human

(I wrote this piece a couple months ago in my notes 📝 under the influence but it still resonates with me till now)  

“Sitting in the still of the dawn I wake at 2:55am to disorganized thoughts in my brain. Lacking the ability to function. It’s currently 4:51am and I’m writing down all my thoughts. I smoke my sativa pen and wonderful connections have been made in my brain that now my surroundings seem clear, the way I jolt down a word on this thread it’s so exhilarating; I don’t know how I come up with new vocabulary. Weed does justice to my unorganization, it could just be that I have adhd (low dopamine levels) and I’ve found the cure. Malfunctions in the brain can have a huge impact on mental health and the way our lives unveil to us as we go is astonishing.”